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Last post 5 months ago by Palama. 4 replies replies.
A woman's husband....
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DrafterX Offline
#1 Posted: Fri, Jan 25 2008, 9:31 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,559
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?”You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck... get the f^ck away from me."
MiamiJosh Offline
#2 Posted: Fri, Jan 25 2008, 2:46 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2006
Posts: 2,302
A woman was seriously injured in an auto accident that caused her to go into a coma. After months of treatment, she still showed no signs of recovery.
One day the nurse was giving the lady a sponge bath. When the nurse wiped her vagina, the lady quivered. The nurse was excited. She ran into the doctor's office and informed him of the situation. The doctor took the sponge and wiped the lady's vagina and again she quivered.

Immediately the doctor called the lady's husband. When the husband arrived at the hospital, the doctor suggested to him, "Your wife is responding to stimuli. You may be able to bring her out of the coma. Try having oral sex with her. She may respond to your touch and your smell. She needs you." The husband was more than willing. He was however a little embarrassed about having oral sex in front of the doctor. The doctor suggested that he and the nurse would monitor the event from another room across the hall.

So the doctor hooked the lady up to several electrodes and he and the nurse went to the other room to monitor the session. After a while of watching the meters go beep.... beep.... beep...., the heart monitor flat lined. The lady had died. The doctor and nurse ran into the room and asked, "What happened? Your wife is dead!!" The husband replied, "I think she choked."

lou2row Offline
#3 Posted: Sat, Jan 26 2008, 5:00 AM EST
Joined: 12-22-2006
Posts: 9,995
A man and his wife get caught speeding. As the officer walks up to the car and the man rolls down the window, the officer says, "license and registration please."
The wife, who is hard of hearing says,"what did he say?"
The husband replies,"HE WANTS TO SEE MY LICENSE AND REGISTRATION."
He hands them to the officer who asks," Do you know how fast you were going?"
Wife says,"What did he say?'
"HE ASKED IF I KNEW HOW FAST I WAS GOING."
The cop looks at the driver's license and says," You folks are from Florida? I had my worst piece of ass in Florida."
"What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU."
Palama Offline
#4 Posted: Tue, Nov 28 2023, 9:59 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,724
Laugh
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