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Last post 15 months ago by corey sellers. 33 replies replies.
You might be a redneck, if...
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MACS Offline
#1 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 5:22 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
So, as I was walking into Total Wine, pushing a shopping cart, I thought...

If you need a shopping cart at the liquor store... you might be a redneck.

What is one of your favorites? Go...
Sunoverbeach Offline
#2 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 5:37 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,672
If you learned to drive a combine before you learned to drive a car.....

Not one of Foxworthy's, but from life experience
MACS Offline
#3 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 5:45 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
As far as I know, mine wasn't one of Jeff's either. Just thought of it as I was walking into a store dedicated to booze with a shopping cart. Beer

A hand basket would have sufficed. I only got a bottle of Aberlour and 3 more Pliny the Elder, but I never know what'll happen when I walk in there. What if I saw seasonal beers and I needed a couple cases?
Sunoverbeach Offline
#4 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 5:58 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,672
You're just your all around prepared boy scout type, Macs
CheapPrick Offline
#5 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 6:21 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2019
Posts: 535

I walked in there once and some guy followed me around like I was going to rob the store blind..
I don't know where they thought I was gonna hide all the booze I was gonna steal, it was in Vegas and I was
wearing a T and jeans.. But, every where Mary went, the lamb was there to follow.
So I walked around through all the isles for at least an hour wasting this guys time before I left.
That pissed me off because I really wanted to buy some booze....
deadeyedick Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 6:39 PM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 17,120
Sunoverbeach wrote:
If you learned to drive a combine before you learned to drive a car.....

Not one of Foxworthy's, but from life experience


I learned on a tractor at about 10. I guess that counts as rednecky enough.
BuckyB93 Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:02 PM EST
Joined: 07-16-2004
Posts: 14,217
You wanted to run away and join the circus but took a job at Walmart instead. Pretty much the same without all the travel.
BuckyB93 Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:03 PM EST
Joined: 07-16-2004
Posts: 14,217
deadeyedick wrote:
I learned on a tractor at about 10. I guess that counts as rednecky enough.


That's how my old man learned to drive when he grew up on a dairy farm.
MACS Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:04 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
If you have a major appliance on your front porch...

You just might be a redneck.
BuckyB93 Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:05 PM EST
Joined: 07-16-2004
Posts: 14,217
And there's a NINE!er...

...as in Kilo Niner Juliett India Golf (my old man's HAM radio call sign)

Edit: NINE! retracted, MACs jumped in without NINE-ing.
izonfire Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:17 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,657
If your son and your nephew live at the same address,
But they live alone...

...You might be a redneck
izonfire Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:25 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,657
If you start off any sentence with "Ima fixin' to"...
... you just might be a redneck
MACS Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:31 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
If you ever mowed your lawn and found a car... you just might be a redneck.
izonfire Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 7:52 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,657
MACS wrote:
If you ever mowed your lawn and found a car... you just might be a redneck.

Dat's a good'un!!! LOL
Yours or Jeff's?
Smooth light Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, Feb 26 2021, 9:08 PM EST
Joined: 06-26-2020
Posts: 3,598
When you go to a singles party, and your all related.
MACS Offline
#16 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 10:14 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
izonfire wrote:
Dat's a good'un!!! LOL
Yours or Jeff's?


Jeff's. So was the major appliance on the porch...

If you've ever had to change a tire on your house... you just might be a redneck (Jeff).
Sunoverbeach Offline
#17 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 10:25 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,672
If you have a house with wheels surrounded by several cars without... You might be a redneck (Jeff)

If crik means a stream of water running through your property instead of a pain in your back... (SOB)
frankj1 Offline
#18 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 10:30 AM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
is this the new 500?
Great thread, Shawn!
CheapPrick Offline
#19 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 5:41 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2019
Posts: 535
If'n ya don't break for critters, cause that there's good eat'n, you might be a redneck..
CheapPrick Offline
#20 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 6:09 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2019
Posts: 535
fog Yea.. I missed the point on my first post.. so what?
Whistlebritches Offline
#21 Posted: Sat, Feb 27 2021, 11:43 PM EST
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
You might be a redneck if "you have a complete set of bowls and they all say Cool Whip"
tonygraz Offline
#22 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 8:48 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,284
If you work at a waste water plant and want them to put in a diving board for the pool, you could be a redneck.
deadeyedick Offline
#23 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:48 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 17,120
Oh, oh, I got one!

If shifting your new truck involves vise grips you might be a red neck.
corey sellers Offline
#24 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:46 PM EST
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,366
If rolling down your windows involves a pair of visegrips
CheapPrick Offline
#25 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:08 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2019
Posts: 535

You just might be a redneck if you gotta climb under your truck to start it with a screwdriver,
MACS Offline
#26 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:16 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,823
If you take your dog for a walk and you both pee on the fire hydrant... you just might be a redneck. Anxious
8trackdisco Offline
#27 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:27 PM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,090
You buy all your flannel shirts from thrift stores and wonder why they have sleeves.
CheapPrick Offline
#28 Posted: Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:29 PM EST
Joined: 11-25-2019
Posts: 535

^^^ Any good redneck would tear em' off.
Palama Offline
#29 Posted: Tue, Feb 28 2023, 2:44 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,729
Any more redneck jokes? Think
PapaWhiskey Offline
#30 Posted: Mon, Mar 6 2023, 7:38 PM EST
Joined: 01-01-2023
Posts: 762
If you've ever felt manure between your toes after taking a step barefoot as a kid... you might be a redneck. I have so I guess I am.
PapaWhiskey Offline
#31 Posted: Mon, Mar 6 2023, 7:39 PM EST
Joined: 01-01-2023
Posts: 762
corey sellers wrote:
If rolling down your windows involves a pair of visegrips

Once upon a time I had a truck like that.
PapaWhiskey Offline
#32 Posted: Mon, Mar 6 2023, 7:43 PM EST
Joined: 01-01-2023
Posts: 762
deadeyedick wrote:
I learned on a tractor at about 10. I guess that counts as rednecky enough.

Me too
corey sellers Offline
#33 Posted: Tue, Mar 7 2023, 8:43 AM EST
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,366
If you ever went to a pasture to shovel your sh it for fertilizer.
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