Just some Thursday morning jokes.
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and Family values.
Bill said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Larry replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"
A Police Officer was patrolling late at night off the main highway. At nearly midnight, he sees a couple in a car, in Lovers' Lane, with the interior light brightly glowing.
He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the Officer walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.
The young man lowers his window. "Uh, yes, Officer?"
The trooper asks: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the Officer says: "And, her, what is she doing?" The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails."
Now, the trooper is totally confused.
A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in Lover's Lane and nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says: "I'm 22, sir."
The trooper asks: "And her, what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
HOT AND COLD SEXAfter his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'
'In fact, I do', said the old man. 'After I have sex with my wife I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty.'
Later, after examining the man's wife, the doctor said: 'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?' She replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?'
'Oh that crazy old fart', she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August.'
A trucker walks into a bar and sees a sign on the wall that says, "Cheese Sandwiches - $3.50, Hand Jobs - $20 dollars".
He says to the barmaid, "Excuse me young lady. Are you the one that provides the hand jobs?"
The barmaid says, "Why, yes I am."
The trucker says, "Then wash them hands real good and fix me a cheese sandwich!"
