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Last post 19 years ago by bloody spaniard. 13 replies replies.
Colonoscopy Comments
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Gene363 Offline
#1 Posted: Sun, Dec 19 2004, 6:50 AM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,928
Colonoscopy comments:

A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
dapperdan Offline
#2 Posted: Sun, Dec 19 2004, 7:15 AM EST
Joined: 08-18-2004
Posts: 2,847
I have a friend that is gay and we both own the same business with in a block of each other so we are competitors. We both have more than enough business so that does not matter. We go out to dinner ever now and then. He told me on of his clients came in he knew she was going to have this procedure. So she came in and he says how did it go baby? and she says I 'm glad that's over, I woke up half way through it and it was not pleasant, you ever wake up with something up your as*!? He looks at her and with a slight pause say's Ahh, yea. they both laughed when she realized what she had just said to a gay man. Cracked me up to.
Slimboli Offline
#3 Posted: Sun, Dec 19 2004, 7:38 AM EST
Joined: 07-09-2000
Posts: 16,139
LOL @ dapperdan for his story ...

... that's one visual I could have done without !!!
dapperdan Offline
#4 Posted: Sun, Dec 19 2004, 7:41 AM EST
Joined: 08-18-2004
Posts: 2,847
I hear ya slim, but I still thought it was funny.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#5 Posted: Sun, Dec 19 2004, 5:52 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
for colonoscopies, generally the doctor will use a drug called versed, midazolam hydrochloride. it is an amnesiac, "so you won't remember what i did." my doctor told me. it is so good when i tried to make an appointment for my 5 year check up, i had forgoten i had it last year.

i used to have a few color photos that he took, pinned to my wall.

"what are those about?" was a great opening line for me.

bloody spaniard Offline
#6 Posted: Mon, Dec 20 2004, 4:08 AM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
A little old man shuffled....... slooooowly into an ice cream parlor, pulled himself...............slooooooowly..........painfully.......... up onto a stool.

After catching his breath..........................he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?

No," he replied, "colonoscopy".
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#7 Posted: Mon, Dec 20 2004, 4:27 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
bloody spaniard

i really did LOL.
EI Offline
#8 Posted: Mon, Dec 20 2004, 8:23 AM EST
Joined: 06-29-2002
Posts: 5,069
Author: RICKAMAVEN Date: 12/19/2004 10:52 PM Reply
i used to have a few color photos that he took, pinned to my wall.
"what are those about?" was a great opening line for me.


You sure it wasn't your mirror?

RICKAMAVEN Offline
#9 Posted: Mon, Dec 20 2004, 4:49 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
EI

you are so cute when you are petulant.

how do you come up with such wonderful retorts. i'll bet you have a book to copy them from.
rayder1 Offline
#10 Posted: Mon, Dec 20 2004, 10:25 PM EST
Joined: 06-02-2002
Posts: 2,226
I'd be careful with a doctor that administers midazolam hydrochloride. You might wake up the next morning with your wang floating in a jar of next to your bed.
tailgater Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, Dec 21 2004, 4:49 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,187
What did the proctologist say when he tried to sign his name with a thermometer?












Some **** must have my pen.....
Stickbow Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, Dec 22 2004, 12:37 AM EST
Joined: 01-16-2003
Posts: 870
1. Hey Doc could you PLEASE park that Buick someplace else...............


stic
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, Dec 22 2004, 1:08 AM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
if, during the exam, you feel a hand on each shoulder,
you are having a different kind of test.
bloody spaniard Offline
#14 Posted: Wed, Dec 22 2004, 3:25 AM EST
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
Yes, you are auditioning for the Village People.
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