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Bad Thoughts
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Magwitch Offline
#1 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:34 AM EST
Joined: 03-26-2010
Posts: 48
I was out on the porch smoking last Saturday when my wife starts hollering for me to come up stairs. The old witch yells a lot but this time she sounded panicked. I was expecting a mouse or spider but when I get up there she’s just pointing at a box of stuff that my stepson Dave had left when he moved in with his girlfriend. I looked at the box and amongst all the other crap in there was this hardcore gay magazine. She starts shrieking about her son being in the closet and she’ll never have grandkids, blah, blah, blah. So I pick it up and start flipping through it and I gotta say it was pretty rough. One pic had a big burly guy smooshing this smaller guy’s face in a pillow while giving it to him from behind. I don’t know what to tell her so I just say don’t worry, Dave is fine but I had no idea why he’d have this or why he’d leave it in our house.

As the day went on she seemed to get over it. But I kept thinking of that guy with the smooshed face. And that night, when wife and I were getting busy I again thought about it. I even tried smooshing her face but she didn’t seem into it. So on Sunday I’m in the yard blowing leaves and I see my neighbor in his yard playing with his cat. He’s sort of slender and a bit effeminate. I never really liked him or his hag wife who clearly wears the pants. She drives a Subara and he a Prius (nuff said). Here’s the embarrassing part. I started imagining smooshing his face in a pillow only this time I’m also repeatedly punching him in the kidneys and biting his back. And yes, it put me into a state of excitement that I didn’t want to be in. So I had to tell someone about this and I guess I feel most comfortable telling you all. I’m sure many of you had your faces smooshed in many pillows. Thanks guys.
gummy jones Offline
#2 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:38 AM EST
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
thats enough internet for me today
KingoftheCove Offline
#3 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:43 AM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,641
Not to worry Mags.........you’re just having fond memories of your meatings with “Peaches”...
Abrignac Offline
#4 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:51 AM EST
Joined: 02-24-2012
Posts: 17,306
Welcome back Mags. It been way too long.
MACS Offline
#5 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 10:58 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,809
KingoftheCove wrote:
Not to worry Mags.........you’re just having fond memories of your meatings with “Peaches”...


I see what ya did there... lol
Whistlebritches Offline
#6 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 12:54 PM EST
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
Glad to see ya back Mag......always funny schit.BTW according to Z...."nothing wrong being a back door man"
delta1 Offline
#7 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 1:04 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,807
seems pretty commonplace to me...don't see why you're so uncomfortable with that...
frankj1 Offline
#8 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 1:24 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
he never said what kind of cigar he was smoking
izonfire Offline
#9 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 1:43 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,647
WHOA.......

An appearance from the Ghost of Christmas Past.
Though I never pictured him packing holiday fudge.

Still legendary...
KingoftheCove Offline
#10 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 3:07 PM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,641
frankj1 wrote:
he never said what kind of cigar he was smoking

Well yes, there is that..........I’m guessing a NC Punch Robusto.
Besides, I’m sure Mags is at least a little bit rusty with his prose, which I’m hoping like heck, will continue with maybe a Thanksgiving and/or Christmas tale.
clintCigar Offline
#11 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 4:27 PM EST
Joined: 05-14-2019
Posts: 4,682
Guess he didn't mention to the wife that him and his step son have been bangin. That's really why he moved out.
JadeRose Offline
#12 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 4:31 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
You're fine, Mags. We've all been to band camp. You're among friends. Welcome home.
frankj1 Offline
#13 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 4:42 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
um, I never went to band camp.
JadeRose Offline
#14 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 5:15 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
frankj1 wrote:
um, I never went to band camp.



It's a euphemism for gay butt seks, Frank. Just trying to make Mags feel welcome
frankj1 Offline
#15 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 5:19 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
JadeRose wrote:
It's a euphemism for gay butt seks, Frank. Just trying to make Mags feel welcome

peoples never see your nice side.
Whistlebritches Offline
#16 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 5:26 PM EST
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
frankj1 wrote:
um, I never went to band camp.



Same as Jewish Summer Camp Frank...…..except none of the boys have foreskin for the girls,OR BOYS,to complain about.
ZRX1200 Offline
#17 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 5:34 PM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,626
Huh?
MACS Offline
#18 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:11 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,809
If I had gone to band camp, I would have played the drums...

... not the skin flute.
fishinguitarman Offline
#19 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:19 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,152
Lol! What about camping? Ya wanna go????
frankj1 Offline
#20 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:48 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
Whistlebritches wrote:
Same as Jewish Summer Camp Frank...…..except none of the boys have foreskin for the girls,OR BOYS,to complain about.

Ah, I get it.
Thanks.
frankj1 Offline
#21 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:49 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
fishinguitarman wrote:
Lol! What about camping? Ya wanna go????

well you got a lotta balls showing up here!
delta1 Offline
#22 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 6:50 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,807
fishinguitarman wrote:
Lol! What about camping? Ya wanna go????



depends...who's bringing the pillows...
JadeRose Offline
#23 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 8:58 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
frankj1 wrote:
peoples never see your nice side.




Mags brings out the warm fuzzies in me.
JadeRose Offline
#24 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 9:00 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
MACS wrote:
When I went to band camp, I played the meat whistle.






Yeah, we know
DrafterX Offline
#25 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 9:14 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,559
Nothing wrong with playing the meat whistle.. as long as you love him... Mellow
MACS Offline
#26 Posted: Sat, Nov 16 2019, 9:15 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,809
JadeRose wrote:
Mags brings out the warm fuzzies in me.


Yeah, he puts it into you, too...
danmdevries Offline
#27 Posted: Sun, Nov 17 2019, 3:36 AM EST
Joined: 02-11-2014
Posts: 17,421
Welcome back magwich
JadeRose Offline
#28 Posted: Sun, Nov 17 2019, 6:06 AM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
MACS wrote:
Yeah, he puts it into you, too...





Mags, a bottle of peach brandy, some peyote buttons......Who knows where the weekend might take you!
tailgater Offline
#29 Posted: Sun, Nov 17 2019, 10:42 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
I do NOT drive a Prius, and that was not a cat.

Otherwise, spot on.
JadeRose Offline
#30 Posted: Tue, May 26 2020, 3:25 PM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
I'm surprised we haven't heard how Mags is coping with COVID-19.
rfenst Offline
#31 Posted: Tue, May 26 2020, 4:09 PM EST
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,345
Cannot believe I missed this one when it was first posted.
Palama Offline
#32 Posted: Mon, Jan 1 2024, 2:57 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,717
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