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Last post 7 years ago by Peckerhead. 34 replies replies.
The sorry things that can happen in the office
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jjanecka Offline
#1 Posted: Thu, Mar 9 2017, 11:19 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
As a prank, My boss literally poured some kind of liquid shît smell onto the carpet of my cubical and it has stunk for the past two days. It smelled worse than a dead rat; the first day I thought it was me because it was real faint but today... WOW it was bad... any ideas on revenge?
elRopo Offline
#2 Posted: Thu, Mar 9 2017, 11:25 PM EST
Joined: 02-17-2014
Posts: 905
Put a couple of sardines in the back of his file cabinet.

Put a couple more someplace obvious so he'll think he got rid of them.
frankj1 Offline
#3 Posted: Thu, Mar 9 2017, 11:57 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
buy him unkosher cigars for Passover.
frankj1 Offline
#4 Posted: Thu, Mar 9 2017, 11:58 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
my bad...
him/her
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#5 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:10 AM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Prayers sent.
sd72 Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 7:16 AM EST
Joined: 03-09-2011
Posts: 9,600
In my office that'd get you injured then fired. Or vice versa.
dharbolt Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 7:57 AM EST
Joined: 08-03-2013
Posts: 6,931
^^ yup
JadeRose Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:16 AM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Revenge? Yeah...go home until it's cleaned up and if he balks, let him know that the next phone call will be to HR. I HATE **** like that. My boss is a "prankster". And while I appreciate a funny as much as the next guy, his idea of funny is to make my job much harder in some stupid way. The first time he pulled some nonsense, I just turned around and walked out the door and left. F*ck that nonsense
DrafterX Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:19 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,536
jjanecka wrote:
the first day I thought it was me because it was real faint but today...



dude... Mellow
teedubbya Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:28 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Go to sporting good store, buy fox urine.

Go to cvs get diabetic syringe

Draw urine in to syringe

Find boss' car

Insert needle through rubber window insulation on car.

Spray urine all over interior

Go back to work
Mr. Jones Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:31 AM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,419
Yes, revenge.....

In little Havanna ( MIAMI'S CUBAN AREA) you would hear....

"ReeeeeeeeVENGgaaaaaaa"

IF YOU EVEN HEARD IT FIRST?
It A.L W.A.Y.S. meant ....
dive and eat dirt IMMEDIATELY!!!

Because the next sound was usually a SURPRESSED
OR UNSURPRESSED MAC-10 OR MAC-11 on
FULL AUTO and shattering glass from
a PISSED OFF CUBAN MARIAL BOAT LIFT Cocaine
COWBOY driving by ( hopefully) or standing near you
Which was even worse...

Now back to your BOSS..

#2 ElRopo hit the nail on the head....

But it has to be SARDINES PACKED IN OIL!!!

Our High school gang had-has a saying....

"GET TO KNOW A FINE DEEN, SARDINE THAT IS"

Or
Just **** HIS WIFE IN THE BUTT.
DrafterX Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:32 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,536
or you could just stab all his tires with a Kbar or somethin... Mellow
Mr. Jones Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:35 AM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,419
Oh, I forgot...

Go to Wal-Mart...

To the sporting goods area....

DEER HUNTING SCENT LURES
ARE ON CLEARANCE NOW...

THE DEER PISS, DEER RUTTING SCENT GLAND
JUICE, OR THE DEER BALL SACK SPUNK JUICE
ALL STINK LIKE HELL!!!

And linger for weeks...

I bet dollars to donuts ...that is What he used on you... Fox and muskrat trapping LURES will work too.
Mr. Jones Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 8:38 AM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,419
I did not read TW's #10....
But came up with identical idea at the exact same time...
jjanecka Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:12 AM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
DrafterX wrote:
dude... Mellow


What? I had been doing a lot of lifting and moving up and down stairs all morning and was all sweated up as if I was at the gym or something. So I thought logically "oh **** I guess I did more work than I thought."

Also, sardines are too obvious, so is the deer urine.
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#16 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:19 AM EST
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
Mr. Jones wrote:
Yes, revenge.....

In little Havanna ( MIAMI'S CUBAN AREA) you would hear....

"ReeeeeeeeVENGgaaaaaaa"

IF YOU EVEN HEARD IT FIRST?
It A.L W.A.Y.S. meant ....
dive and eat dirt IMMEDIATELY!!!

Because the next sound was usually a SURPRESSED
OR UNSURPRESSED MAC-10 OR MAC-11 on
FULL AUTO and shattering glass from
a PISSED OFF CUBAN MARIAL BOAT LIFT Cocaine
COWBOY driving by ( hopefully) or standing near you
Which was even worse...

Now back to your BOSS..

#2 ElRopo hit the nail on the head....

But it has to be SARDINES PACKED IN OIL!!!

Our High school gang had-has a saying....

"GET TO KNOW A FINE DEEN, SARDINE THAT IS"

Or
Just **** HIS WIFE IN THE BUTT.


That last line almost made me spit out my coffee. Hilarious!
Stinkdyr Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:29 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
Dont ax me how I knowz dis, but if you take the leftover head from a pig roast and hide it in the back seat of his car on a hot day......

dat steenk will not come out for weeks.

Gonz
tamapatom Offline
#18 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:36 AM EST
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
Move your desk into the hall in front of his office till the smell goes away.
MACS Offline
#19 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 9:46 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,747
Got interesting in my 'office' yesterday, too.

Fights, pepper spray, pepper ball launchers... etc...

Good times... good times...Frying pan
ypetryna Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 10:58 AM EST
Joined: 07-19-2012
Posts: 1,323
at one job a therapist would constantly leave to check her emails/play with her phone and had me do everything. she got a wifi signal blocker right above her desk since it was a drop ceiling.

at another place, one coworker was a ******. he was also particular about distractions. he really hated a saxophone player who would panhandle around Christmas time. 20 bucks a day and the musician would play by our building entrance.... right below his window. best 100 bucks i ever spent.
dstieger Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 11:23 AM EST
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
I assume that you've already placed land mines? Might be difficult to source, but sarin or anthrax would be a hoot
jjanecka Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 11:42 AM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
MACS, I the ball launcher idea. Will probably go that route. Direct retribution is the best.
MACS Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 11:46 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,747
jjanecka wrote:
MACS, I the ball launcher idea. Will probably go that route. Direct retribution is the best.


Get you a can of the 5% pepper spray and squirt some in a few places in his office. He will get a scratchy throat, start sneezing... maybe even cough and get watery eyes and he won't know wtf is wrong.
99cobra2881 Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:01 PM EST
Joined: 11-19-2013
Posts: 2,472
Superglue the valve stems on his car. Don't let the air out, just let that sh-it get found out on its own.
dstieger Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:38 PM EST
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
PM everyone in cbid user directory with message that says cbid customer service phone number has been changed to: his phone number
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#26 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:44 PM EST
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
dstieger wrote:
PM everyone in cbid user directory with message that says cbid customer service phone number has been changed to: his phone number


Love this one!

=d>

Or just give all of his number and we can call with random companies.
MACS Offline
#27 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:55 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,747
dstieger wrote:
PM everyone in cbid user directory with message that says cbid customer service phone number has been changed to: his phone number


That is brilliantly diabolical. Or just plain evil. Whatever. Beer
bgz Offline
#28 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 12:56 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
So you're saying you want to make him the new stixman?
RMAN4443 Offline
#29 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 4:09 PM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Go fishing and catch anything.........get into trunk of his car and put dead fish in spare tire well under spare tire and cover back up..........by May, June at the latest you will have your revenge d'oh! d'oh!
opelmanta1900 Offline
#30 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 4:13 PM EST
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
If you can get into the trunk, you can get under the hood... and a dead fish in the air filter goes further than in trunk...

also recently saw where someone zip tied a harmonica to a radiator fan so it played whenever the fan functioned...
ovid Offline
#31 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 4:16 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2017
Posts: 141
Call his mother
Mr. Jones Offline
#32 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 4:18 PM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,419
#25 dstieger

LOL !!!

Great idea!!
dharbolt Offline
#33 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 5:02 PM EST
Joined: 08-03-2013
Posts: 6,931
Run a bead of petroleum based gel on his wipers.

Large hvac type zip tie on drive shaft, makes a hell of a racket.

There's always the sugar in the gas tank trick as well...
Peckerhead Offline
#34 Posted: Fri, Mar 10 2017, 5:03 PM EST
Joined: 05-02-2016
Posts: 479
Does he have a traditional computer keyboard at his desk?



..if so, remove a bunch of the keys and butter the hollow voids with fecal matter.
Nothing like the real thing IMO.
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