HAROLD, 95, was living in a nursing home. Every night after dinner he went to a little garden to sit and ponder his life. One evening Mildred, 87, joined him. They had a long chat and eventually Harold said, “You know what I miss the most? Sex!”
“Why, you old fart,” Mildred laughed. “You couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!”
“I know,” Harold said, “but it’d be nice if a woman would just hold it for a while.”
So Mildred unzipped his daks, took his rooster out and held it. Afterwards, they agreed to meet there every night and have a session of tockley holding. But Harold didn’t show up one night months later, so Mildred went looking for him. She found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another resident of the home, and she was holding his rooster.
Furious, Mildred yelled, “You two-timing ****! What’s she got that I don’t?”
Harold smiled and replied, “Parkinson’s.”
