February 10, 2011
Republicans Cut Shirts from Budget
Slash Seven Years from Age
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In an effort to show that they are serious about reducing the size of the Federal deficit, a group of House Republicans announced today that they would totally eliminate shirts from this year’s Congressional budget.
The lawmakers, who call themselves the Shirtless Republicans and are led by Rep. Christopher Lee (R-NY), appeared in the Capitol rotunda this morning naked from the waist up.
“We are going to slash this budget until it is as ripped and shredded as my abs,” Rep. Lee said.
Rep. Lee added that in order to postpone their eligibility for Social Security. the Shirtless Republicans would also subtract seven years from their stated ages.
Immediately after their appearance, a spokesman for C-Span said that the network would immediately pull the plug on all future broadcasts from the House of Representatives: “We don’t think the American people should have to see this.”
how come i never hear about the women republicans who have deviant sexual behavior?