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I "know" many of you guys here. I've LMAO, and "shared" many a smoke, but today my mailman(the one that looks like the kidnapper from Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang)stopped by again. I saw him coming and instead of hitting the gas and moving up to my mailbox he put it in neutral and just revs the engine.

I've never seen him do this so I go to the curb and remove my shirt to do my now infamous "Matador" routine. The classic stand-off. Man vs. Machine. The vehicle jolts back and forth with every thrust put upon the carburator. I wave the shirt and shake it taut. Chin held high in the air. The "bull" charges once its put into gear. Throttling faster towards me. I dare him even more by pirouetting further into the street. Undaunted by the hurling metal box, I flex the shirt into true cape form and hold it firmly. The only thing seperating me from vehicular manslaughter is a beefy-t.

He slams his brakes and mock turns towards the curb avoiding me, but giving him no place to go. Letters fly into the air in a Blondie-like manner. He looks up and sees me standing on his bumper, cape pulled away now as I yell out "Olé!" The conquering matador surveys the once proud by humbled "beast".

"You're a popular guy this week" he says as he starts to pick up the paper carcasses.

"Just this week?" I smartly replied.

"No, really! I've got another box for you.

Now to really understand the magnitude of the situation you have to envision "Have you seen me" mailers,store ads,and various letters all over the ground and in the cab of his car. The traditional mailtruck. He hands over the package. I didn't even look at it, as I thought it best to help him out and retrive some mail that was starting to scatter across my lawn. We got the mess cleared up and he was on to the next mailbox.

I picked up the package and looked at the address. Somewhere in Cali. Hmmmmm, I didn't order anything lately and was intrigued. I made my way to "The Shop" and pulled out a box cutter. With Zorro like manuerving the tape gave way to the sharpened steel. I opened the box to reveal a circular humidor.

I was hooked. There was a mock 2001 dollar bill with the WTC and the Pentagon as its seals. The President's face was GW's. I held it and read every letter. I couldn't help but remember THAT day. I opened the humidor and inside were "lottery tickets", keychains from a certain Transmission shop, a punch cutter, and a bevvy of smokes that would make Carlito blush. A personalized note completed this handsome gift. This my fine friends, made my day. I was really choked up. I ran inside and sent an email to the sender of this parcel thanking him for what he sent, but there's no words that can be expressed from this selfless action. Only retribution. Retribution that was warned.

Mike(Magnafide), thank you very much for making my day.

PS: Later this evening my neighbor walked across the street while I was walking my "8 legs of lawn destruction". She had witnessed the whole affair earlier, and was still laughing. She even confessed that the "Olé!" could be heard inside her house and that she wet herself from laughing hysterically. Seems you and I made her day too Mike. Thanks again.

Anyone got any packing peanuts?

Mike, the "lottery tickets" were a MAJOR hit!

I handed one to her and said, "The way my luck's been, babe you better do these."

She fumbles around in her purse for a coin, and starts scratching it off. Then she looks up at me and just busts out laughing. She jumped into the air and threw her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and yells out "We won 2 thousand dollars!"

After she "dismounted" from me, I look at the ticket and she's pointing at the winning images. Then all of a sudden she starts jumping up and down..."That's not 2 thousand, that's 20 thousand!" Now she's yelling and waving the ticket around in the air.

It was all I could do to contain myself, I start going along with the excitement. Then I tell her that they came from California, so they probably have to be sent back out there to claim the prize. She starts reading the back of the ticket, and the next thing I know I'm being chased around the house by a crazed woman with a wet dish towel in her hands! Did I mention that she used to be a teenage lifeguard, and knows how to employ the wet corners of any piece of fabric into a bullwhip. Not just any whip, but the kind that makes the "Rawhide" intro seem like a ladyfinger firecracker.

Good thing I'm going out tonight! She just looks at me now and shoots me this evil look, like I messed around with her mother or something! I dunno, women. You figgur 'em out before me, then tell me the secrets!

WoooHooo!!...hehe! I got another great story from these tix! Good one Dr.

Well, if you still havent scratched the second one, I would let her have it. Thats why I send 2 of them. Usually the first one gets ya, then the second one is so the person that ya get, can get someone else.

Everyone knows somebody that they would like to play a little trick on. I'm glad you enjoyed it!.... :>)

Mag